By Elliot Worsell
When Michael Conlan first envisioned marathon running as a retirement plan, the only thing that stood in his way was his past in boxing. He anticipated the echoes of heavy breathing and the shadows of his boxing career trailing him during his runs. However, despite these reminders, he expected the experience to be joyful. It would bring him joy not only because he was confident in his ability to outpace his former pursuit, but also because he had accomplished everything he set out to achieve in boxing. These retirement runs would resemble victory laps, with all the toil and hardship of his past now fading away with each mile.
However, life is rarely as straightforward or simple as it seems. To illustrate this, during the Manchester marathon in early April, Michael Conlan did not find himself running away from boxing but rather from something entirely different: excruciating pain.
Conlan admitted that the three months after his defeat against Jordan Gill in December were the darkest period he had ever experienced. He clarified that it was not solely due to the loss itself, but also because of various personal issues that were occurring simultaneously. The challenges he faced within his family greatly contributed to his overall struggle. He openly expressed his honesty about grappling with genuine depression during this time, which has been incredibly difficult to endure. Sharing these emotions even evoked a sense of vulnerability. Nonetheless, Conlan acknowledged that this is simply a part of life’s journey.
Joining the running club truly changed my perspective on life. Mentally, it had an incredibly positive impact on me. Surprisingly, the training for it was more challenging than any boxing training I have ever experienced. These individuals willingly wake up at the crack of dawn to go for a run, without receiving any monetary compensation. One day, I jokingly remarked to them, “There must be something wrong with you all. I get paid a significant sum to fight, while you all don’t receive a single penny for this.”
During a profoundly challenging period in my life, they provided immense support. While I wouldn’t explicitly state that I was contemplating suicide, I was undeniably overwhelmed and emotionally drained. Having two children, I would never consider engaging in any reckless behavior or uttering such thoughts, but I found myself in an extremely despairing state.
Continuing to emphasize, I repeat: life can be like this. Unexpected events occur, but you must persevere through the difficulties until you find stability again.
Conlan’s decision to sign up for the marathon was met with skepticism due to his recent losses in the ring. Many believed he was either retired or on the brink of giving up. However, his goal was to finish the marathon in less than three hours. Against all odds, he accomplished his aim by crossing the finish line with a remarkable time of two hours and fifty-five minutes.
Conlan had an interesting revelation during the two hours and fifty-five minutes of his marathon run. It was at mile 24, when he hit the wall, that he realized marathon running was not his thing, at least not at the moment. He was capable of keeping up with the top runners, but participating in the race and going through the training and completion process made him realize what he had been trying to avoid.
“I’m going back to boxing,” he said. “Fuck that running stuff at the minute. It’s tough. I’d rather go back and do what I want to do and what I believe I can do.
If I ever reached the point of being finished, my own family would be the first to let me know. They would kindly express, “That’s enough.” My brother, Jamie, who is incredibly close to me and acts as my manager, would be the one to say, “It’s time to put an end to it.” He dislikes witnessing me engaged in fights because of our brotherly bond. Similarly, when he used to fight, I didn’t want to see him continue beyond a certain stage. Even when I have been victorious in fights, he has cautioned, “I don’t want you to endure too many more battles,” acknowledging the difficulties they can present. If he were to approach me and say, “Mick, it’s time to stop, there’s no further opportunity here,” I would readily respond, “Absolutely, no problem.”
“He acknowledges that in an ideal scenario, he wouldn’t want me to endure it any longer. However, he comprehends my motivations for persisting and recognizes that I still possess valuable contributions. He expressed, ‘If you choose to continue, it’s your call. I won’t impose my decision on you.’ He understands that I possess untapped potential and that I now have a personal point to prove. This endeavor is solely about satisfying myself, without any intentions of impressing others.”
Conlan in the changing room
In the world of boxing, a boxer’s success heavily relies on their ability to convince themselves that they are superior to everyone else in terms of size, strength, and speed. This self-belief, or suspension of disbelief, is crucial. However, sometimes the biggest threat to a boxer is not the opponent standing across the ring, but the reflection they see during their moments of practice. This person, their own reflection, serves as their protector, shielding them from the harsh realities of the sport and the criticisms of outsiders. They also provide comfort during times of self-doubt and adversity. This relationship, although both positive and negative, has taught Conlan, through experience, to differentiate between genuine obstacles and excuses that are only meant to shelter him and maintain his delusion.
“It’s crazy how people who have no insight into your life can still feel entitled to give their opinions on your professional decisions, whether it’s about quitting your job or not. This happens because we tend to discuss these matters on public platforms. The truth is, only a small fraction of these commentators actually possess the knowledge and expertise to make valid judgments. The majority simply spew nonsense and seek attention.”
In today’s day and age, it is nearly impossible to suffer two consecutive losses and make a successful comeback. People automatically assume you’re finished, your health is at risk, and all sorts of nonsense. Although the loss against Leigh Wood was devastating, I understand why people emphasize it due to the circumstances. However, in both the fights against Luis Alberto Lopez and Jordan Gill, I was still standing at the end. I was fully conscious and not knocked out. It wasn’t a brutal knockout that would make people question my entire life.
“I’m very aware of boxing. I understand boxing. I have been around boxing my whole life. It’s something I’ve been very successful in and I’m probably in the one per cent of people who have made enough money from the sport to walk away and be set for life. I don’t need boxing. I started my own promotional company with my brother, and that’s now beginning to flourish and grow massively; so that’s one avenue I can walk into with no problem. I also have my own fucking beer which has been launched. That’s another avenue for me in retirement. Streams of income are plenty for me. It’s not like I’m dependent on boxing for that.
However, the focus isn’t on the money, is it? It’s about demonstrating to myself that I can still accomplish something in this sport. The outcome is uncertain, as there are times when I may be correct and times when I may be mistaken. But why on earth should I give up when I am aware that I still possess the ability within me?
There is no doubt that Conlan’s final concession will be beneficial for his future. It demonstrates a realistic understanding of the situation and a humble attitude, which are often the result of a devastating loss. Moreover, Conlan, with a record of 18-3 (9), has valid reasons to think this way. There are reasons behind certain events and why he has recently turned to running as a form of therapy rather than celebration.
He expressed, “Prior to my last fight, there was a significant amount of family matters, personal matters, taking place. Although it’s not something others need to know, I realize now that I should not have been involved in any boxing match on that particular evening.”
“That’s simply how life unfolds, isn’t it? We carry on, persist with our training, and before we know it, we’re faced with a battle. Despite grappling with personal challenges and training under a new coach (Pedro Diaz) for six weeks, everything seemed off-kilter. Nevertheless, we make choices and accept the outcomes that follow.”
I am skeptical that the person I witnessed in that situation was the real Michael Conlan, as I am aware that he still possesses his true abilities. As a boxer, one can sense during sparring when they are being overpowered by opponents they should be dominating. However, I found myself easily handling opponents who weighed 135 and 140 pounds. This was not a physical issue. The problem lied in my mental state and lack of focus.
Before the Gill fight was arranged, someone asked me about Jordan Gill eight weeks prior, and I told Jamie that I didn’t need that fight at the moment because it wasn’t the right one for me. At that time, I hadn’t even trained with Pedro Diaz, my new coach, and I would only have six weeks of training in America. Deep down, I knew it wasn’t the right fight, but we took a chance anyway. Looking back, it’s easy to see things clearly. It’s worth noting that nobody knew what Jordan Gill was experiencing until after the fight.
Michael Conlan (Getty Images)
In boxing, you will now and again find an unlikely connection between a comeback and running away, despite how conflicting the two things appear in isolation. For Conlan, for example, an Irish star famous before he had even thrown a punch professionally, there is an argument to be had that his best route to coming back is to first get away. Not run away, perhaps, but certainly do away with all the pressure and attention he finds when boxing at home, in Belfast, the city with which he has, since his amateur days, been synonymous.
“I’m thinking October or November and I’m thinking America – maybe New York,” he said. “Let’s get away for a moment. I’ve just suffered back-to-back defeats in The SSE (Arena, Belfast). I know I can still sell a ticket there, and can still sell it out, and obviously that’s part of the value of Michael Conlan, but I also know I can do a ticket in New York. Going there is a way for me to take the foot off the gas and have one fight to come back on. Let’s be honest, right, I’ve lost twice by fucking stoppage. I need to have a comeback fight. I need to get a win. Get the confidence back and get back in the swing of things. That’s what I need.
“I will need to make another round of changes. I must acknowledge that Pedro Diaz was likely the finest coach I have ever trained with. However, his guidance came relatively late in my career. Pedro insisted that I box orthodox throughout the entire fight against Gill. Yet, if you examine my career, you will notice that despite occasional switches, I have mainly fought as a lefty.”
“We simply lacked sufficient time to collaborate and develop ideas together. Given the stage of my career, attempting significant changes feels impractical. Thus, I intend to return to the UK and establish my base there. I have a couple of coaches in mind, which is why I’m considering a return in October or November to allow myself some preparatory time.”
“I plan on getting back to my previous weight of 126 pounds. It was a mistake to weigh in at 130 pounds for the last match, but I had only eight weeks’ notice and was informed that Gill had moved up to the 130-pound category, so I took a chance. It turned out to be the wrong decision,” he reflected, pausing for a moment before bursting into laughter. “Seriously, what was I thinking?”
At the age of 32, Conlan, a featherweight boxer, finds himself in a peculiar state between youth and aging. He is considered “shot” or “faded” in his profession due to his age, but he still holds onto the belief that he can prove otherwise. He values the opinions of those who witness his daily efforts more than those who only see him for entertainment purposes. While he has let go of grand aspirations of making history or changing the world, he remains young enough to adjust his expectations and strive for something noteworthy. He acknowledges the fickleness of confidence, yet is still taken aback and unsettled when it begins to diminish.
“After two defeats your confidence is a bit knocked, there’s no point denying that,” Conlan said. “I can sit here and go, ‘My confidence is just fine. I know the reasons for the defeats and I am going to put things right.’ But I’m not saying that. There are reasons for the defeats, yes, but when you lose, no matter the circumstances, you do look at yourself and go, ‘Fuck me, am I as good as I think I am?’”
In certain moments the answer to that question will be “no”, quite understandably. Whereas in other moments, either when Conlan is out running, or reminding himself of all he has achieved in the sport, as both an amateur and pro, he will be more inclined to say, “Yes, I was that good; yes, I am good.” Sometimes, you just need reminding, that’s all. For confidence is, like a muscle, something liable to atrophy if not given the right amount of attention and care.
Conlan expressed, “Never before have I gone this long without engaging in boxing. I haven’t stepped foot in a gym and haven’t even thrown a single punch since my last bout. It was only recently that I attempted some shadowboxing, not in a formal manner, just a few punches here and there around the house, which made me contemplate boxing more seriously.”
Taking a break has rejuvenated me, making me realize that there are still opportunities and a path towards achieving a world title.
